In Memory of an Eclipse

There comes a time like this
where the silence is neither
deafening nor dead
the balance is at its brim
I am at one with who I ever was and who I will be
I am alone
with all the other versions of me.

Continuously Watering Myself (art by Lester Dellos/Ibalio Stories)

The air is so thick
with the effluvium of my loneliness
but it settles on my chest like how a dewdrop would find shelter on a leaf
Much like how everything which unmade you has finally condensed into material
And brought you to being.
This is the assurance
of suffering.
There would be a point of peace
of being in pieces
and it is in this
that you have become whole. 
You have made it
You are okay
You will continue to make it and be okay
This life is so hard to those who do not try to seek home in solitude
The more you run to find yourself, the more you will escape yourself
Let the sadness live in your veins.
Embrace it with your arms wide open
Accept that it is part of you and everything would be easier. 
Happiness is not a gift
It is a continuous process
of seeking and failing and seeking even further 
until you understand
You cannot expect happiness if you do not decide for it to happen first
The seed is in your heart
You must continuously plant it
In places,
In people, 
In chances.
You are the only thing you will ever need.
And so 
I am grateful
I am grateful for everything that has been
and everything
that will ever be.

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